希望沟壑
我小的时候 我们会一起去希望沟壑下的
When I was a child, we would go to this cove
一个小海湾
under the cliffs called Hope Gap.
当潮水退去的时候 会有一些小石礁露出来
When the tide was out, these little rock pools appeared.
小石礁上有些小动物生活
And in the pools were tiny sea creatures.
在我寻找那些小动物时
My mother would sit on the rocks and wait
我的妈妈会坐在石头上等着我
for me while I explored.
我从没问过妈妈在思考什么
I never asked myself what she was thinking
或者她是否开心
or if she was happy.
你不开心 对吗？
You don't, do you?
只有加里能带给我一丝孤独的喜悦
A lonely impulse of delight is it Gary.
你说什么
How is that?
哦 是你呀 格蕾丝
Oh, it's you, Grace.
是叶慈的一句诗
It's a poem, WB Yeats.
诗是你的命 对吧 格蕾丝
Always with the poetry, eh, Grace.
不是法律和责任 也不是口若悬河的政治家
Nor law, nor duty bade me fight, nor public men,
或是雀跃的人群让我披上战袍 只是一丝孤独的喜悦
nor cheering crowds, a lonely impulse of delight
催我直上云霄
drove to this tumult in the clouds.
哦 真是胡说八道
Oh, bollocks.
我反复思考 反复比较
I balanced all, brought all to mind.
未来的似已惘然
The years to come seemed a waste of breath.
过去的已如尘烟
A waste of breath, the years behind in balance
生死乃一线之隔
with this life, this death.
你好吗？
Good day?
老样子
Uh, much the usual.
前几天怎么样 格蕾丝
How was your day, Grace?
前几天？
Was?
对啊
Oh, yeah.
我去以前常去的希望沟壑那里走了走
I did our walk to Hope Gap.
我好几年没去过了
I haven't done it for ages.
你还记得杰米曾经多喜欢去哪里吗
Remember how Jamie used to love going there?
当然记得
Yes, of course.
有时候我真的好想他
Sometimes I miss him so much.
你帮我沏茶了吗
Did you make me a cup of tea?
你不是已经有一杯了吗
I thought you had one?
它已经凉了
It's gone cold.
我很好奇你为什么喝茶永远只喝一半呢
Why is it you only ever drink half your tea I wonder.
我也很想知道
I wonder that, too.
额... 我想可能是我不喜欢结束的那种感觉吧
Ah, I suppose it's because I don't like things to end.
你真是个有始无终的人
You're a non-completer.
哦 我是吗？
Oh, am I?
那你是有始有终的人吗？
Are you a completer?
一定程度上是吧
Up to a point.
人们能在一定程度上完成什么事吗？
Can one complete anything up to a point?
我可不觉得
I don't think so.
我好希望杰米能回家啊
Well, I do wish Jamie would come home.
已经好几个月了
It's been months.
他有自己的生活了
He's got his own life.
是啊 当然 他有了自己的生活 但是为什么我们不在他的生活中呢？
Well, of course, he has, but why doesn't it include us?
你在编维基吗？
Are you Wiki-ing?
是的
Yes.
这事你是完不成的
You never complete that.
维基百科是不可能被完成的
You can't complete Wikipedia.
拿破仑率领45万人横穿尼曼河
Napoleon marched 450,000 men across the Neman.
只有不到两万人活着回来
Less than 20,000 came back.
有大量的军官坚持写日记
The surprisingly large number of the officers kept diaries.
超过150本被保存了下来
Over 150 have survived.
令人称奇的是 在当时的撤退条件下
Remarkable, really given the conditions on the retreat.
如果有人因为严寒而倒下
As the men dropped in the intense cold,
与他们同行的士兵就会把他们的衣服剥下来 留他们
they were stripped of clothing by their own comrades
赤身裸体在冰天雪地中 可他们还是活了下来
and left naked in the snow still alive.
这其实是一种生存策略
It was a kind of survival strategy.
在最极端的情况下 人会变得残忍
In extremest, men can be cruel.
他们错了吗？
Is that wrong?
我们应该责备他们吗？
Do we blame them?
在那种情况下 我们的行为会克制而人道吗？
Would any of us have behaved any better?
罗比？
Robbie?
我不会剥掉他们的衣服
I wouldn't have stripped them.
你会让他们穿着衣服死去吗？
You'd have left them to die with their clothes on?
是的
Yes.
那你是出于同情还是克制？
Out of compassion or modesty?
脱掉别人衣服对我来说是一件困难的事情
It's really hard getting people's clothes off.
的确
So it is.
有段时间了 我正在思考
Well, it's been a while, and I was thinking.
哦 好的 谢谢你 杰米
Oh, thank you, Jamie.
你确定你能处理吗？
Are you sure you can manage?
我会告诉格蕾丝的
I'll tell Grace.
她会很开心的
She'll be so pleased.
星期六午饭后找个时间吧
Some time after lunch on Saturday.
人受伤或者冻伤的时候
When men were wounded or frostbitten
走不了太远的 会有人下令把他们
and men could no longer walk, orders were given to carry
放到行李列车上
them on the baggage wagons.
当然 这会拖慢列车的速度
This slowed the wagons down, of course,
并且减小了列车成功抵达
and reduced the chances that the baggage train
斯摩棱斯克的机会
would make it to Smolensk.
所以列车司机们都会寻找一块非常腐烂的土地
So the wagon drivers looked out for especially rotted ground
然后故意开的很快 这样就可以
and then drove fast over it so that the wounded
趁别人不注意时 把那些受伤的人甩出去
would be jolted off the wagons without anyone noticing.
一旦他们被丢弃在路上 等待他们的就只有死亡
Once left behind on the road, they froze to death.
而这也会被认为是一场意外
This was understood to be an accident.
没人会回头看他们
Nobody looked back.
没有人
Nobody looked back.
我曾来过此处
I have been here before.
那是什么
What's that?
我的选集 我应该这么叫它吧
My anthology, that's what I should call it.
主要思想就是无论你在经历什么
The idea is whatever you're going through,
总有人在你之前就经历过 并写成了文字
someone's been through it before you, put it into words.
这是罗塞蒂的一首诗的第一行
It's the first line of a poem by Rossetti.
是什么？
What is?
我曾来过此处
I have been here before.
杰米这周末会过来
Jamie's coming for the weekend.
杰米要来了？
Jamie's coming?
对 在周六午饭后过一会就来了
Some time after lunch on Saturday.
你怎么知道的？
How do you know?
我们刚才通电话了
We spoke on the phone.
他给你打的吗？
He rang you?
为什么？
Why?
就是说他要来了呗
To say he was coming.
他为什么给你打电话？
Why did he ring you?
我也不知道
I don't know.
他有时候就喜欢给我打个电话
He does sometimes.
是吗？
Does he?
杰米上一次什么时候来的家里？
When was the last time Jamie came home?
是四月份吧 对吗？
April was it?
他已经有了自己的生活
He's got his own life to live.
你好 我是凯丽
Hi, it's Kylie.
不好意思 我现在不能接电话
I can't come to the phone right now
不过你可以给我留言
but please leave me a message and I'll
我会尽快回电的
call you back as soon as I can.
嗨 凯丽
Hi, Kylie.
我是杰米
It's Jamie.
我这个周末要离开一段时间
I'm away over the weekend.
我周日下午六点左右回来
I'll be back by 6:00 on Sunday.
希望到时候你在 我很想见你
If you're around, it'd be great to see you.
好啦 拜拜
OK, bye.
你好啊 陌生人
Hello, stranger.
你好 妈妈
Hello, Mom.
你好啊 陌生人
Hello, stranger.
你好 妈妈
Hello, Mom.
杰米
Jamie.
爸爸
Dad.
杰米回来啦
Jamie, Jamie.
你能回来真是太好了
Thanks for coming.
旅途怎么样？
How was your journey?
还不错
Not bad.
我赶上了3:46的车
I got the 3:46.
晚了吗
Running late.
在李维斯那里将将赶上
Only just made the connection at Lewis.
这一段火车真是不靠谱
Can't trust the trains these days.
我先.. 我先去放下我的行李
I'll just... I'll drop my stuff off.
你觉得他开心吗？
Do you think he's happy?
我觉得他在他的公寓里应该蛮开心的
I think he's happy in that flat of his.
你这么认为吗？
Do you?
他自己一人的时候？
All on his own?
对啊 当然了
Well, there's that, of course.
他有他想要的生活方式
But he has it the way he wants it.
比如说不用总洗东西
No washing up to speak of.
自己用一个盘子 刷一下 然后就又可以继续用了
You use a plate, wash it, and there it is ready to use again.
也不用担心牛奶会不会喝完了
You do not run out of milk because you're
因为只有你一个人喝牛奶
the only one drinking it, so you know how much
所以你很清楚冰箱里还剩着多少
there is left in the fridge.
我知道这都是一些很简单的事情 但是很有意义
Just little things, I know, but they have value.
你好像开始羡慕他了
Well, you sound as if you envy him.
不是
No.
我不认为把头埋在沙子里 所有东西都一成不变
Well, I don't think it's good for anyone, hiding in a hole,
会对谁有好处
having everything always be the same.
杰米 你还没好吗？
Jamie, are you going to be long?
马上就好了
Not long.
让我们点上几根蜡烛庆祝一下杰米的回家吧
Let's have candles to celebrate Jamie coming home.
好呀
Yes, why not.
下周 我们就结婚整整29年了
Next week, we'll have been married 29 years.
是啊 我想也是
Yes, I suppose we will.
你有什么想法吗？
Do you have something in mind?
什么意思？
What do you mean?
我们应该去哪里共度晚餐呢？
Well, where we go out for dinner.
要是你想的话
If that's what you'd want.
不 不是
No, it isn't.
不是吗
It isn't?
不是
No.
好吧 那我们就不出去了
All right, then we won't go out.
哦天哪 爱德华
Oh, for God's sake, Edward.
我说错什么了吗？
Did I say something wrong?
我说我们结婚纪念日要出去共进晚餐
Well, I say will we go out for dinner on our anniversary
然后你说要是我想的话 我说不是
and you say if that's what you want and I say it isn't and you
然后你就说不出去了
say then we won't.
但是我确实希望在结婚纪念日的时候可以出去庆祝一下
But I do want to go out for dinner on our anniversary.
要不然你觉得我干嘛提这一句？
Why do you think I suggested it?
那你为什么说你不想？
Then why say you don't?
因为我不想你因为我想去才去
Because I don't want to do it because I want to do it.
我想因为你想去而去
I want to do it because you want to do it.
那你现在想去吗？
So do you want to do it?
想
Yes.
那你会去预定餐厅吗？
So will you book somewhere?
我会的
Yeah.
希望这次不要再去你去年选的的那个破地方了
Not that awful place you chose last year.
要不你去订吧
Maybe you should make booking.
难道什么都要我做吗？
Do I have to do everything?
(弥撒是天主教的宗教仪式)
明天早上你来做弥撒吗？
Will you be coming to mass in the morning, Jamie?
妈妈 你知道的 我早就不做了
Mom, you know I don't do that anymore.
为什么？
Why not?
你已经不信仰上帝了吗？
Have you stopped believing in God?
或多或少吧
More or less.
为什么？
Why?
因为这世上存在的无数苦难吗？
Is it because of all the suffering in the world?
是 这也是一部分原因吧
That's a part of it, yes.
但是你不觉得
But don't you see, that's exactly
这才是上帝存在的意义吗
why there has to be a God.
如果这个世界平静和睦 我们又怎能承受呢？
If this world was all there is, how could we bear it?
爱德华 解释一下为什么上帝要创造这些磨难
Edward, explain why God allows the suffering.
额...是有关自由意志的事 对吧？
It's, um... it's about free will, isn't it?
杰米知道这些的
Jamie knows all this.
不 不 继续
No, no, go on.
继续解释
Explain.
我知道这些理论
I do know the arguments.
不 如果你能正确地理解这些 你会信仰上帝的
No, but if you understood properly, you'd believe.
听我说 就我目前看到的世界而言
Look, as far as I can see, the world's
它是一个充满了不公的可怕的地方
a frightening place where things happen that aren't fair,
这世界上的事没有任何意义
and there isn't really any meaning to any of it.
并且到最后 我们都会死去
And in the end, we all get wiped out.
我们无法接受这些 因此才想出了上帝
We can't bear that, so we invent God
和天堂来安慰自己 到最后一切都会好起来
and heaven to reassure ourselves it'll all work out in the end.
我不认为那是什么坏事
I don't think that's a bad thing to do.
我只是突然觉得那不现实
I just happen to think it's not true.
你错了
You're wrong.
告诉他 爱德华
Tell him, Edward.
告诉他什么？
Tell him what?
告诉他上帝真实存在
That God exists.
你是没办法告诉别人这种事的
You can't tell people a thing like.
上帝不是可供传达的信息
God's not information.
上帝是
God's
一种信念
a conviction.
就像爱一样
It's like love.
我们没办法讲出来爱是什么
You don't tell love.
但是我们可以感受到
You feel love.
说的没错
That's right.
就是这么回事
That's just how it is.
你要咖啡吗？
Coffee?
要的 来一杯
Yes, I'd like that.
我看不下去你一直闷闷不乐的样子 杰米
I can't bear to think you're unhappy, Jamie.
我没有不开心
I'm not unhappy.
我很好
I'm fine.
独自一人能好吗？
No, all on your own?
我还好妈妈
I'm fine, Mom.
好吧
All right.
还好不代表你开心
Fine isn't the same as happy.
那怎么算开心呢？
Well, who's happy?
还好就是还好啊
Fine's fine.
不 我们就很开心 你说是吗 爱德华？
No, we're happy, aren't we, Edward?
是啊 我们就挺好
Yes, we're fine.
我希望你们不用太担心我 我只是
I hope you don't mind, but I'm
最近工作压力有些大而已
under big pressure at work.
我想我们应该静一静
I thought I'd give it a couple of hours
今天晚上就到这吧
before I call it a night.
都依你 亲爱的
Whatever you want, darling.
我想我明天早上就不去做弥撒了
I don't think I'll make mass tomorrow morning.
我还有要判分的试卷
I've got all the coursework papers to mark.
我得趁我有精神赶紧完成它
I'd rather get it done while I'm fresh.
我们很开心 对吗？
We are happy, aren't we?
为什么不呢？
Why wouldn't we be?
有时候我觉得我们真的缺乏沟通？
Sometimes I think we don't really talk.
那你觉得什么是沟通呢？
What do you mean talk?
就像人们常做的那样沟通啊
You know, talk the way people do.
像魔法一样 对吗？
It's like magic, isn't it?
你看 这就是没在沟通
You see, we don't talk.
什么？
What?
我说一句话
I say things.
你为什么不回我？
Why don't you say things?
你想让我说什么？
What do you want me to say?
什么都可以啊
Anything.
想到什么就说什么
Whatever comes into your head.
我现在已经迷上了那些目击了
Well, I've become fascinated by the eyewitness accounts
莫斯科大撤退的人的陈述
of the retreat from Moscow.
天哪 那不是交流好吗
Ugh, that's not talking.
那是编维基
That's Wiki-ing.
我说的交流是你和我之间的
I mean talk, you and me.
这就是你想要的吗？
Is this what you want?
不
No.
如果这不是你想要的 那是什么？
If this isn't what you want, then what is?
我知道我有时候很让你烦
I know I annoy you sometimes.
不 那是我的感觉
No, that's about how I feel.
我想知道的是你是什么感觉
I want to know how you feel.
感觉什么？
Feel about what?
什么会让你开心些呢？
What would make you happier?
我在想你是否会开心
I suppose if you were happy.
不 不 说说你
No, no, talk about you.
我不需要什么特别的
I don't want anything special.
但你总会需要点什么
But you do want something.
一种我们两个可以获得 你也想要
There's something two people can have that we haven't
但现在我们还没有的
got that you wish we had.
没错
Yes.
那是什么？
What is it?
我不知道该怎么解释
I don't know how to explain.
好吧 想一个词 什么都行
Well... think of a word, any word, the first
第一个跳入你脑海的词
word comes to your head.
晴朗
Sunny.
晴朗？
Sunny?
这只是一个词 还有别的
It's only one word. There's others.
再想想其他的词
All right give me some other words.
- 我不想想了 - 为什么？
- I don't want to do this. - Why not?
这只会越来越糟糕
I'll only make it worse.
怎么就会越来越糟呢？
How will it make things worse?
因为我说什么都是错的
Because whatever I say will be wrong.
如果说的是对的就不是错的啊
Well, it can't be wrong if it's true.
或是不够好
Or not enough.
不够是什么意思？
What do you mean not enough?
我觉得你想要的东西我并不具备
I think you want something I haven't got.
什么？
What?
我总是莫名其妙地感觉我错了
I always somehow feel that I'm in the wrong.
我不在乎谁对谁错
I don't care about who's right or wrong.
我只想让你在 真得在
I just want you to be there. Here.
我...在啊
I am here.
不 你不在
No, you're not.
我在啊
I am here.
不 你不在
No, you're not.
就好像你趁我不注意的时候就会悄悄溜走
It's like somehow you've sneaked away when I wasn't looking.
我实在不知道该怎么形容
I don't know how else to put it.
你在干什么？
What are you doing?
我在准备早餐的东西
I'm putting out the breakfast things.
放下来
Put that down.
看着我
Look at me.
你说人们无法讲出爱
You say you don't tell love.
但能感觉到
You feel love.
可是如果你从不说我怎么知道你爱我
But how am I to know if you never say it.
那只是一种假设
It's just assumed.
它就在那里
It's just there.
就算是那样 帮我个忙 说一句吧
Even so, just to help me, please say it.
现在不行
I can't now.
那没有任何意义
It wouldn't mean anything.
怎么没有？
Why not?
这样就只是因为你让我说我才说的
I'd only be saying it because you asked me to say it.
我不介意
I don't mind.
这太幼稚了 格蕾丝
This is childish, Grace.
说出来
Say it!
你为什么要这么做呢？
Why are you doing this?
你为什么要把所有事情都变成问题呢？
Why are you making everything into a problem?
这跟我没半点关系
This isn't anything to do with me.
这是你的问题
This is your problem.
以后不许再这么跟我说
Don't ever say that to me again.
你是我们俩的一部分
You're part of this.
我们是一起的 无论你喜不喜欢
You're involved whether you like it or not.
做点什么
Do something.
说点什么
Say something.
如果你讨厌我 那就说你讨厌我
If you hate me, say you hate me.
说你想离开我
Say you want to leave me.
说你想杀了我
Say you want to kill me.
跟我说些真实的东西
Tell me something real.
我累了
I'm tired.
我想上床睡觉了
I want to go to bed.
我们明天早上再讨论这个吧
We'll talk about it in the morning.
怎么了？
What happened?
我干的
I did it.
你又去逼他了吗？
Were you going for him again?
他应该还手的
He should fight back.
你就想你俩打一架？
Is that what you want, a fight?
我想要他有所反应
I want a reaction.
我想要一场真正的婚姻
I want a real marriage.
他到底在害怕什么呢？
What is he so afraid of?
为什么他总是远离我？
Why does he walk away from me?
因为你总逼他
Because you go for him.
哦 我没有
Oh, I don't go for him.
但我刚刚确实打了他
But I did hit him just now.
天哪 妈妈
Oh, Mom.
我还能怎么办？
What else am I to do?
还有什么办法能让我和他沟通吗？
How else am I to get through to him?
我想只有给他一个足够的打击
I feel like if I can only give him a big enough shock,
他才会醒过来
he'll wake up.
不 打他没有用的
Well, hitting him won't help.
你觉得我应该怎么做？
What do you think I should do?
我认为你应该对他好点
I think you should be nicer to him.
对他好点？
Nicer?
你的话听起来像爱德华说的
You sound like Edward.
我觉得你不能继续逼他了
I think you should stop going for him.
你刚才已经说过了
You said that already.
但是你不会听的 对吗？
You don't listen, do you?
对 我们已经见识过你过的你喜爱的生活
Yes, well, we've all seen what a great success
有多么的成功
you've made of your love life.
哦 对不起 亲爱的
Oh, I'm sorry, darling.
对不起
I'm sorry.
我不是故意的
I didn't mean it.
你根本不懂我想要的生活
Actually you didn't know anything about my love life.
我不懂吗？
Don't I?
难道你已经偷偷结婚了吗？
Have you got a secret wife somewhere?
还偷偷有了孩子？
Secret children?
过上理想的生活并不一定需要组织一个家庭
You don't have to have a family to have a love life.
你得承认你在公寓里独自生活的这一年
You must admit there's something odd about you living
的确遇到了不少麻烦
alone in that flat at your age.
独自生活的人多了去了
Lots of people live alone.
爱德华很羡慕你 你知道吗？
Edward envies you, you know.
是吗？
Oh?
是 他愿意住在你那种公寓里
Yes, he'd love to live in your flat
然后每天都重复着相同的事情
and do the same thing at the same time every day.
我就是从那种生活里把他救回来的
It's what I rescued him from.
可别试图拯救我
Don't try rescuing me.
我的确很担心你
I do worry about you.
我倒担心你
I worry about you.
为什么？
Why?
爱德华和我经常发生这种小争吵
Because Edward and I have these little rows.
我只是尽力控制不吵架
I'm just trying to keep well out of the line of fire.
你知道我是爱他的
You know I love him, don't you.
我们接二连三地吵架并不意味着什么
Doesn't mean anything if we quarrel from time to time.
哦 把早餐扔得到处都是？
Oh, throw the breakfast things around?
我来清理桌子吧
Well, I tipped the table up.
总得干点什么
Had to do something.
我以为你用这些扔他了呢
I thought maybe you'd thrown them at him?
不 我不会的 不会用餐具扔的
No, wouldn't do that, not cutlery.
这我就放心了
I'm relieved to hear it.
要是你没收拾完这些 我也会收拾的
I would have cleared it up if you hadn't done it.
已经收拾完了
Well, it's was done now.
谢谢你 亲爱的
Thank you, darling.
谢谢你
Thank you.
明天早上见吧
I'll see you in the morning then.
我想我明天会早点去做弥撒的
I think I may go to early mass.
要我把你叫醒吗？
You want me to wake you?
不
No.
不要 让我多睡会
No, let me sleep.
好吧 亲爱的
All right then, darling.
晚安
Good night.
晚安
Good night.
荣誉归于至高的上帝
Glory to God in the highest and on earth, peace
和平归于大地
is a peaceful of good will.
我们赞扬你 祝福你 崇拜你 以你为荣
We praise you, we bless you, we adore you, we glorify you.
我们感谢你的荣耀
We give you thanks for your great glory.
主 天主 天上的君王 全能的天主圣父
Lord God, heavenly King, oh God almighty
主耶稣基督
father, Lord Jesus Christ...
唯一的上帝
Only God himself, Lord God...
上帝的羔羊 圣父之子
Lamb of God, son of Father, you take
除免世上的罪恶
away the sins of the world.
求你垂怜我们
Have mercy on us.
求你垂怜我们
Have mercy on us.
求你垂怜我们
Have mercy on us.
你什么时候走？
When do you have to go?
午饭过后吗？
After lunch?
午饭后立刻走
Right away after lunch.
三点左右吧
Three-ish.
我能不能假定你可以多留一会？
I don't suppose you could stay on a little longer?
应该不会
I'd rather not really.
怎么了？
Why?
就是突然想起了一些事情
It's just that things are coming to a head.
我觉得如果你在的话 格蕾丝会好过一点
I thought it might be better for Grace if you were here.
什么叫突然想起了一些事情
What do you mean coming to a head.
我认为你昨天晚上已经听见了
Well, I suppose you heard last night.
她也不是经常那样吧？
She's not that all the time is she?
不
No.
不
No.
为什么我在这儿会好些？
Better that I'm here for what?
我要走了
I'm going to leave.
对不起
I'm sorry.
我无法给格蕾丝带来快乐
I can't make Grace happy.
我努力了 但我不是她想要的那个人
I've tried, but I'm the wrong person.
还有
Also,
说起来可能有点荒唐
ridiculous as it may sound,
我爱上别人了
I've fallen in love.
什么？
What?
这出乎我的意料了
It's not what I expected either.
天哪 爸爸 这是怎么回事
Jesus, Dad, how did this happen?
她的名字叫安吉拉
Her name's Angela.
她是学校里一位孩子的母亲
She's the mother of a boy at school.
他原来有过一些问题 我帮助了他
He's been having problems, and I've been helping him.
哦天哪
Oh, God.
对不起 我不是故意的
Sorry, I didn't mean it like that.
那妈妈怎么办？
Only what about Mom?
没有我她会过得更好的
She'll be better off without me.
我给不了她想要的
I don't give her what she wants.
遇到安吉拉之前 我一直不懂
I didn't realize until I got to know Angela.
和安吉拉在一起 一切都是那么的简单
With Angela, it's easy.
我们两个很合得来
The way I am seems to suit her.
和格蕾丝在一起 我做什么都是错的
With Grace, everything I do is wrong.
我很紧张也会笨手笨脚的
I'm nervous and clumsy.
我总惹她生气
I annoy her.
那她知道吗？
Does she know anything?
她还不知道安吉拉
Not about Angela, no.
那这件事就是突如其来了
So it'll come out of nowhere.
也不算吧
Well, hardly nowhere.
情况已经越来越糟了
It's been getting worse and worse.
她跟我说过好几次分开的事了
Several times, she's talked about separation.
但那不是她的本意
She doesn't mean it.
那她为什么说呢
Then why does she say it.
她只是觉得她的婚姻并不太真实
She feels there's something not real about her marriage.
也许她说的对
Well, you she could be right.
但我不认为她愿意那样
But I don't think she wants to be right.
这就是我为什么想让你多住几天
That's why I was hoping you could stay on a bit longer.
你为什么不能改下主意呢？
Why didn't you change your mind?
对不起
I'm sorry.
已经走得太远了
It's all gone too far.
我的天
Oh, God.
她还有你
She'll still have you.
对不起
Sorry.
我不知道我能不能做到
I don't know that I can do this.
我得尽快告诉她了
Well, I have to tell her soon.
你要怎么做 搬走吗？
What will you do, move out?
是
Yes.
什么时候？
When?
计划越快越好
Well, the plan was soon, very soon.
你不是说今天吧
Well, you don't mean today.
安吉拉觉得没必要拖
Angela felt why drag it out.
不 不行
No, you can't.
你得用更平和的方式让妈妈接受这件事
You have to break it to her more gently.
我怎么能做到？
How do I do that?
她刚从教堂回来 然后我跑去告诉她
She'll be back from church soon and I'm going to tell her
我要离开她了
and then I'm going to leave.
你可以在这多陪她一会 到四点再走
You can be with her for a while and still be away by 4:00.
我知道周日的火车会很慢
I know the trains can be very slow on Sunday.
这就是你叫我来的原因吗？
This is why you asked me to come down.
你收拾行李了吗？
Have you packed a bag?
只是简单地收拾了一下
Just the basics.
看来木已成舟
So it's already happened.
那还需要多久？
How long will it take?
你收拾的时候我不想一直呆在这里
I don't want to be here when you do it.
给我半个小时吧
Give me half an hour.
就半个小时
Half an hour then.
好
Right.
杰米没起来吗？
Ha, Jamie not up?
他去散步了
He's gone out for a walk.
自己去散步
A walk by himself.
他从来不自己去散步的
He never goes for a walk by himself.
来杯茶吗？
A cup of tea?
烤面包？
Toast?
谢谢
Please.
你知道我们在做弥撒的时候说了什么吗 求上帝垂怜我们
You know how we say in the mass, Lord have mercy on us.
我自己数了数
I found myself counting.
我们一共祈求垂怜17次
We asked for mercy 17 times.
光荣颂里念了九次 羔羊颂里有三次
Nine times in the curia alone, of course, three times in agnus
其他地方也时不时会念到
dei, and it kept popping up everywhere else.
我觉得乞求主的垂怜可能
I think it may have a sort of hypnotic effect,
有一种催眠的作用
all that asking for mercy.
念一会 你就会觉得也许你真的需要它
After a while, it begins to strike you maybe you need it.
我知道我有时候逼你太狠了
I know I go for you sometimes.
我会尝试改变的
I'll try to stop.
我想要安全感而已
Really all I want is reassurance.
好的
All right.
嗯？
Hmm?
要记住我们会一同度过难关的
Just to know that we're going through this thing together.
这不是很管用 对吗？
It's not really working is it?
你说什么？
What did you say?
这不管用
It's not really working.
谢天谢地
Thank God.
你总算发现了
You do see it.
我们之间到底怎么了？
What's happened to us?
我觉得你说的对
I think what you said is true.
我一直都在远离你
I've been walking away.
我一直都在躲避
I've been avoiding things.
感谢上帝
Thank God.
你总算说出来了
You're saying it at last.
我觉得我给不了你想要的
I suppose I felt I can't give you what you want,
所以我真的觉得我很没用
so I felt like I'm not very useful person really,
至少对于你来说
for you at least.
我似乎一直在烦你 也一直办错事
I seem to annoy you and do things wrong.
这让我感觉到 就是 一种不太好的感觉
That makes me feel, well, not much good really.
所以我尽量不去和你讨论这些 因为那样只会让事情更糟糕
So I try not to talk about it, which only makes it worse.
谢天谢地
Thank God.
你懂了
You understand.
我一直在为此祈祷
I've been praying for this.
我认为其实我们是两个世界的人
I think the truth we're different kinds of people.
可能我们就是没办法好好地相处下去
It may just be that we don't work very well together.
但是我们可以啊
But we can.
如果我们互相理解彼此 并真诚地对待对方
If we understand each other and are real with each other
如果你
and if you...
如果我们愿意 生活一定会变好的
if we have the will to make it work, it'll work.
我知道
I know it.
可是我并不愿意
I'm not sure I have that will.
不 你必须愿意
Well, you have to.
婚姻只有在两个人都愿意改变时才能变得美满
Marriages only work because both people want them to work.
可我并不确信我想
I'm not sure I want that
你不想我们的婚姻幸福吗？
You're not sure you want our marriage to work?
爱德华 听我说
Edward, listen to me.
这非常重要
This is terribly important.
你必须愿意 否则婚姻就会破碎
You must will or marriage, or it'll die.
只有这两种选择
There's no in between.
婚姻要么继续 要么结束
It's either alive, or it's dead.
如果结束了会怎么样？
What if it's dead?
那我们就分道扬镳
Then we go our separate ways.
没有人可以在破碎的婚姻下生活
No one can live in a dead marriage.
可能分开才是我们之间最正确的选择吧
Maybe that's what we should do, go our separate ways.
但是我们的婚姻还没有破碎
But it isn't dead.
你认为它已经结束了吗？
Do you think it's dead?
我不这么认为
Well, I don't.
至少对我来说还没结束
It's not dead for me.
我还是你的妻子
I'm your wife.
你依然是我的丈夫
You're my husband.
你可以对我说任何事情
You can say anything you want to me,
生活中发生的任何事情
anything in the whole world.
我想离开
I want to leave.
离开？
Leave?
是的
Yes.
离开去哪？
Leave to go where?
我有别人了
There's someone else.
有别人了？
Someone else?
对不起
I'm sorry.
怎么会 怎么会有别人？
How can there be some... someone else?
那个人是谁？
What someone else?
一个家长
A parent at school.
你不认识
You don't know...
什么家长？
What parent at school?
她的名字是安吉拉·沃克
Her name's Angela Walker.
我真的不是故意的
I didn't mean it to happen.
就是一次意外 但它确实发生了
It was an accident, but it's happened.
一个意外？
An accident?
什么意外？
How was it an accident?
我当时和她谈论关于她儿子的问题
I met her to talk over her son's problems.
她告诉了我她家的情况
She told me about the situation at home
儿子的爸爸在大约一年前去世了
and that the boy's father left a year or so ago.
她那时十分激动
She became quite emotional.
然后我说了我所能安慰她的话 从那开始我们变得亲密的
And I said what I could, and that's how we became close.
变得亲密？
Became close?
是的
Yes.
有多亲密？
How close?
不
No.
我不想听了
I don't want to hear it.
这意外是什么时候发生的？
When did this accident happen?
大约一年前
About a year ago.
一年前？
A year ago?
然后你就像没事一样？
And you went on just the same?
我应该早点告诉你的
I should've told you before.
但这不是意外
But it's not an accident.
你现在还在继续
You're doing it.
你又不是必须这样
You don't have to do it.
你可以停止
You can stop doing it.
对不起
I'm sorry.
我不能
I can't.
你不是未婚之夫
You're not free.
你没有想过这个问题吗？
Don't you realize that?
这个女人失去了她的丈夫
This woman may have lost her husband,
并不意味着她有权利把你从我身边带走
but that doesn't give her the right to take mine.
爱德华 这太荒唐了
Edward, this is ridiculous.
你必须认识到这一点
You must see that.
或者说 难道你做这一切是为了威慑我吗
Or are you just doing this to give me a fright,
让我表现得更好吗？
make me behave better?
不
No.
杰米知道吗？
Does Jamie know?
知道一点
Some of it.
我在早饭的时候告诉他了
I told him at breakfast.
你告诉杰米了？
You told Jamie?
我知道你很难接受
I know this is all a shock.
但是我真的相信你会明白这是最好的
But I do truly believe you'll come to see it's for the best.
最好的？
For the best?
我对你不合适 格蕾丝
I'm no good for you, Grace.
我没能给你你想要的
I didn't give you what you want.
你没能给我想要的 是因为你从来都没有尝试过
You don't give me what I want because you're not even trying.
你总是想办法逃避
You found a way to sneak out of it.
我不能让你
Well, I won't let you.
对不起
I'm sorry.
我已经 我已经下定决心了
I've made up... I've made up my mind.
你要撤回你的决心 知道吗？
Well, you'll have to unmake it, won't you?
这个决定跟我是有关的
This decision involves me.
你必须得问过我
You have to consult me.
不要再这样 格蕾丝
Don't do this, Grace.
这只会让事情更糟糕的
It'll only make it worse.
我们生活了29年了 你不能就这么走了
You can't just walk away after 29 years.
你要尝试改变啊
You have to try.
我已经试了29年了
I have tried for 29 years.
不
No.
别那么说
Don't say that.
你不是那个意思
You don't mean that.
不
No.
不 我不是那个意思
No, I don't mean that.
但是
But
你也知道现在怎么样
you know how it's been.
听着
look,
爱德华
Edward,
我们在坦布里奇
we had Tunbridge.
我们
We...
杰米小的时候 那时候我们在坦布里奇
when Jamie was little, those years at Tunbridge,
那几年多幸福啊
they were good years.
你不能把它们都带走
You mustn't take it all.
你不能
You mustn't.
你会杀了我的
You'll kill me.
当杰米还是小孩子的时候 那是一段幸福的时光
When Jamie was little, they were good years.
过来 亲爱的
Come here, darling.
好吧
All right.
你赢了
You win.
对不起
I'm sorry.
我再也不会逼你了
I won't go for you ever again.
你不要走
Just don't leave.
你知道这没有用的
You know it won't work.
不 这一定有用的
Yes, it will.
我们会解决的
We'll make it work.
格蕾丝
Grace...
我只想有个让一切重回正轨的机会
I just want a chance to put things right.
这才公平 不是吗？
That's fair, isn't it?
你至少欠我的
You owe me that at least.
坐下
Sit down.
吃完早餐
Finish your breakfast.
我已经吃完了
I have finished.
是我
It's me.
我在路上了
I'm on my way.
他不会离开的对吗？
He won't leave, will he?
他只是在吓唬我
He's just doing this to frighten me.
我觉得 他可能真的要走了
I think... I think he'll leave.
你能告诉我些别的吗？
Can you tell me something else please?
我不知道该说什么
I don't know what to say.
说它不会发生
Say it won't happen.
告诉我我能有办法
Say there's something I can do.
亲爱的儿子 告诉我我还能做点什么
Darling boy, tell me what it is I'm to do
我会为你去做的
and I'll do it for you.
没关系的
It's all right.
给我一分钟 让我冷静一下
I'll be all right in a minute.
天气预报表明全国的大部分地区
That forecast much of the country, plenty of sunshine
晴朗无云
around...
郁郁葱葱的绿色 蓝天下迷人的树荫
Lush patchworks of green, mesmerizing shades
小山丘 山谷 河流 还有小溪
of blue, hills, dales, rivers, and streams.
我们的乡村风景美丽异常
Our countryside is rich in landscapes
一切等待着人们去发现
just waiting to be explored.
真稀奇 杰米
Very unusual, Jamie.
那十分险峻
That's rather precipitous.
为杰米心动吗？
Work up an amor for Jamie?
干杯
Cheers.
干杯
Cheers.
最近和凯莉怎么样了？
So how are things with Kelly?
凯丽
Kylie.
不太顺利
Not good.
她让人有点难以捉摸
She's acting kind of elusive.
难以捉摸？
Elusive?
那可不太好
That's not good.
我不知道那是什么意思
I don't know what it means.
这说明她从来没出现过
It means she never shows up.
我说真的 杰米 你值得找一个更好的人
I mean it, Jamie, you deserve better.
我也想
I wish.
我能给你一条建议吗？
Can I give you a tip?
当然了
Sure.
有时候感觉你这个人好像心不在焉
OK, sometimes you can come across as like unreachable,
就像你的衣服一样
like your clothes.
你怎么回事？
What's that about?
我累了
I'm tired.
因为我妈妈的那事
This thing with my mom.
她现在每天都很难熬 我每周末都得回家陪她
She's having a hard time and I'm going home every weekend.
要是我爸离开我妈去找别人 我会干掉他的
My dad walked out on my mom, I'd kill him.
我可从来没这么想过
I hadn't thought of that.
等一下 刚才我们在谈论凯莉
Look, what I'm saying about Kelly...
凯丽
Kylie...
好吧 凯丽
Is... Kylie...
或许凯丽需要的就是你在她身边而已
maybe... maybe you just went there for her enough.
你上一次看她是什么时候？
When did you last see her?
周日
Sunday.
她当时怎么样？
How was she?
不太好
Not good.
她知道你来见我吗？
Does she know you're meeting me?
不 但是她希望我来看你
No, but she wanted me to see you.
她有话给你说
She has a message for you.
哦？
Oh?
要我说 你确实应该给她一次机会
I am to say you owe it to her to give her another chance.
你就这样突然地离开了她 甚至没有问过她
You did this out of the blue without consulting her or
警告过她 就这么离开了
warning her, and there it is.
你也明白
I'm sure you know.
是的
Yes.
她想让你回去再试一试
She wants you to go back for a trial period,
如果婚姻还是无法继续的话
and if it doesn't work out...
我做不到
I can't.
我已经离开了
I've gone.
我不会再回去了
I'm not coming back.
我愿意尽全力帮助你们 但是我不会回去的
I'll do anything I can to help, but I'm not coming back.
对不起
I'm sorry.
好吧
Right.
要喝杯茶吗或者
Do you want a tea or a...
或者来个冰淇淋？
or an ice cream?
好
Fine.
我想要一个和路雪
I might have a Cornetto, something
海边的东西
about being by the sea.
要一个那个 谢谢
One of them please.
2英磅
That's two pounds.
2英磅？
Two pounds?
这么贵？
Really?
谢谢
Thank you.
我现在几乎都不用现金了
I hardly ever use cash these days.
为什么不用？
Why ever not?
现在都用网上支付了
It's all contactless now.
是啊 网上支付
It's all contactless now, yes.
的确是这样
Well, there it is.
还有个事就是我真的不知道妈妈
Thing is I really don't know how Mom's
究竟该如何度过这段时间
going to make it through this.
我和安吉拉都觉得我和妈妈接触的越少
Both Angela and I think the less contact I have,
她就会越快地重新振作
the sooner she'll move on.
嗯 当然了 这并不代表
Yes, well, of course, that doesn't mean I won't
我什么事都不会帮
do everything I can to help.
这就是我不明白的地方了
That's the part I really don't understand.
你看起来十分关心她 但是却什么都不做
You seem to care for her so much and now not.
是啊
Yes,
这些不好解释
it's not easy to explain.
你确实有关心过她 对吗？
There was a time, wasn't there?
对啊 没错
Yes, yes, of course.
我一直以为你特别以她为荣
I always thought you were rather proud of her.
她的生活方式独一无二
She is remarkable in her way.
我想一开始的时候我几乎为她神魂颠倒
I suppose I was half dazzled by her in the beginning.
她的确很迷人
She was quite dazzling.
那些老照片上你看上去很高兴啊
You looked happy in all the old photographs.
你很快乐啊
You were happy.
我想我们以前确实幸福过 但现在不了
I suppose we were and then not.
你知道她怎么说我编维基的工作吗？
You know what she calls my Wiki-ing?
知道
Yes.
如果你在维基百科的文章里犯了一个错误
If you make a mistake in a Wikipedia article,
你可以选择撤销
you can do what they call reverse it.
你只需要点击编撰历史 然后点击撤销就好了
You just click history, and then you just click undo.
爸
Dad.
顺便说一句 我已经换手机号了
By the way, I should have said I've changed my phone number.
我不得不这样
I had to.
她给你打电话了？
Is she calling?
每天都打
Every day.
那她说什么了？
Saying what?
什么也不说
Nothing.
她从不说话
She never spoke.
通过呼吸声我能感觉到是她
I recognize the sound of her breathing.
你感觉
You recognize...
我可以给你我新的号码 只要你不
I'll give you the new number if you...
给我发个短信吧 爸
Just text me, Dad.
好
OK.
你不能
You won't...
我不会的
No.
好
Fine.
我该
I should be getting...
我该走了
going.
妈妈还在等我 所以...
She'll be waiting for me so...
那我们保持联系吧
Well then keep in touch.
妈？
Mom?
你在这坐了多久了？
How long have you been sitting here?
我也不知道
I have no idea.
就像爱德华往常一样
Just like Edward.
什么？
What?
他平时就是一直在煮茶 这样就不用说话了
Making tea so you don't have to talk.
等我把我们的茶弄好了 我们就聊会天
We get our tea, and then we talk.
你去见他了
You've seen him.
他自己还是和她一起？
Alone or with her?
他自己
Just him.
我从来没见过她
I never met her.
我跟你说过了
I'd have told you.
你给他说我的事儿了吗
Did you give him my message?
说了
Yes.
他说他不能回来
Says he can't come back.
不愿
Won't.
我爱你
这是什么？
What's this?
看起来怎么样？
What does it look like?
刀叉盒里也有
And in the knife drawer.
电话留言板上
And on the phone message pad.
他大衣的兜里也都有
And... and in the pocket of his coat.
为什么这么做？
What for?
我不知道为什么 我就是想写下来
I don't know I suppose because while I was writing
然后藏在某个角落吧
them and hiding them in all the places
藏在他可能看到的地方
where he might find them, it made me
这能让我感觉仿佛那会真的发生一样
think it really could happen.
仿佛他真的会再回来
He really would come back.
然后
And
等他看见了这些纸条后
then when he found them,
他也许就不会离开我了
he couldn't go away again.
他跟你说他不会回来了吗
So he told you he won't.
是的
Yes.
那你听到这句话时 你怎么说的？
What did you say to that?
我能怎么说？
Well, what could I say?
你可以说 你个王八蛋
You could say you bastard, you
你个疯子 你个破坏我们家庭的人
murderer, you home wrecker.
不 我不会这么说的
Well, I didn't.
为什么不？
Why not?
你觉得他所做的这些事是应该的吗？
Do you think he's entitled to do what he's doing?
我无法评判这个事
That's not for me to judge.
为什么？
Why not?
如果你看在街头看见一个男的把一个女的往死里打
If you saw a man beating a woman to death in the street,
你就径直走开 说这事不归你管？
would you walk on by, say that's not for me to judge?
这不是那么回事
That's not how it is.
这是谋杀 杰米
This is a murder, Jamie.
难道就因为没有流血 就不是谋杀吗？
Just because there's no blood, don't think it's not a murder.
他谋杀了一场婚姻
He's murdering a marriage.
婚姻不会流血 但这仍然是谋杀
Marriages don't bleed, but it's still murder.
我不觉得你这么说有什么用
I don't think it helps to talk like that.
那你告诉我怎么说有用？
Tell me how to talk so it does help.
婚姻已经破碎了
Marriages break down.
这种事每天都有
It happens all the time.
没人希望它发生 但是它仍然会发生
Nobody wants it to happen but it does,
我们必须学会接受它
and we have to live with it.
哦 你在说什么啊？
Oh, what sort of talk is that?
每天也有儿童因为吃不上饭而饿死
Children are starving to death all the time,
并不意味着这样是对的
but it doesn't make it all right.
但我们可以学会适应
But we live with it.
如果饿死的是你的孩子
Not if it was my child.
或是要饿死的是你呢
Not if it was you.
如果是你要被饿死 我愿意
If it was you starving to death, I'd let
牺牲自己换回你的生命
myself die first to save you.
你相信我吗？
Do you doubt that?
我相信
No.
现在是我的婚姻濒临毁灭 无论要做什么我都要去拯救它
Well, this is my marriage, and I'll do anything to save it.
我请求你帮助我
And I'm asking you to help me.
你真像他
It's what he does.
他也会这样转移视线
He won't look at me.
妈 我不是他 好吗
I'm not him, Mom, all right.
瞧 你现在又要像你爸一样走开了
Well, you're walking away just like he did.
他真的走开了
He actually walked away.
咚咚咚 小跑着走了
Trot, trot, trot down the road.
该死的行李箱
Stupid suitcase.
你行李箱备好了吗？
Have you got a suitcase?
我还在这呢 妈 不是吗？
I'm here, aren't I?
但是你想走
But you want to walk away.
你就是这么想的 对吧？
You do, don't you?
我不会离开的
I can't.
为什么？
Why not?
是因为我要出点什么事 你会感到愧疚吗？
'Case something happens to me, you feel guilty?
放心吧 我不会出事的
Nothing's going to happen to me.
我最讨厌那种事了
That's what I can't bear.
当你自己一个人的时候 就不会碰上多少事了
When you're alone, things stop happening.
正是因为你窝在家里
That's because you stay in.
我希望你不要这样
I wish you wouldn't.
我应该出去散散步 对吗？
I should go out more, should I?
加入一个读书小组？
Join a book group.
至少比坐在椅子上强
It beats sitting on the stairs.
这算怎么回事？
What was that about?
我过去是在前进还是后退
I was going up or coming down.
我记不清了
I don't remember.
我只是在想这有什么不同
I just thought what difference does it make.
我也许最好就待在这
I might as well just stop here.
待在这个能看见门的地方？
Where you can see the door?
是啊 你还是那么聪明 杰米
Yeah, it's rather clever of you, Jamie.
这就是你不出去的原因吗？
Is that why you don't go out?
因为你觉得他可能会走进这个门回家来？
Because you think maybe he'll walk back through that door?
可能吧
He might.
妈
Mom.
别这样了
Come on.
我带你出去走走吧
Let's get you out of here.
他告诉我说他决定把房子留给你
He told me he's decided you can have the house.
哦 真的吗？
Oh, has he.
我猜他是想做些什么弥补一下吧
I suppose he thinks that makes everything all right.
他确实想为我们做些能做的
Think he really wants to do what he can.
所以他告诉你 他把房子让给我了
So he told you I could have the house.
是啊
Yes.
可是他没告诉我
Well, he hasn't told me.
他想让我告诉你
He wanted me to tell you.
我不在乎他怎么想的
I don't care what he wanted.
如果他想做些什么来让我早点走出阴影
If he wants to make arrangements that affect me,
他完全可以亲自来跟我说
he can come and talk to me himself.
我不需要你做中间的传话人
I won't have him using you as a messenger boy.
真受不了他一点都不跟我商量的样子
Can't stand the way he does all this without consulting me.
怎么打不通了啊？
Why isn't it working?
他换号了
He's changed his number.
他换号了
He's changed his number.
他告诉我了
He told me.
他换了新的号码
So he's got a new number.
对
Yes.
你有他的新号吗？
Have you got it?
没有
No.
别傻了 杰米
Don't be silly, Jamie.
你肯定有
Of course, you have.
你说谎的时候我能看出来
I could always tell when you were lying.
我不能给你
I can't give it to you.
为什么？
Why not?
他嘱咐过我不能给你
He asked me not to give it to you.
现在我让你给我
Well, I ask you to give it to me.
我不会给你的 好了
I'm not going to, all right.
真搞不懂为什么你永远都要按你的方式办事
I don't see why you always have to get your own way.
按我的方式？
Get my own way?
你是觉得我太自我了吗？
You think I get my own way?
我觉得给你电话号码反而对你更不好
I think it'd be a bad idea to give you his number.
听着 正如你常说的那样
Well, that's not for you to judge
这事轮不到你评判
as you're so fond of saying.
我是成年人
I'm grown up.
不是罪犯更不是疯子
I'm not a criminal or a lunatic.
我希望能联系上我的丈夫
I wish to be able to contact my husband.
不行
No.
我觉得你该走了
I think you'd better go.
走啊 走开
Go on, leave.
你不就想这样吗
It's what you want.
你又帮不了我 为什么不干脆走呢？
You can't help, so why don't you just go?
你对我没用了
You're no use to me.
你已经和他站在一边了
You've taken his side.
你已经像他那样离开我了
You've left me already just like he has.
如果要我自己一个人的话
Well, if I'm to be alone, I'd rather
我也不需要你在这立场不定地可怜我
be alone and not have you dangling about pitying me
敷衍我
and patronizing me.
你走吧
Go on leave.
你为什么要这样做啊？
Why do you do this?
我做什么了？
Do what?
我什么都没做
I've not done anything.
不是我离开了他
I've not left him.
是他离开了我
He's left me.
告诉他不要这样
Go and tell him not to do this.
我没法让他回来
I can't bring him back.
你怎么知道不能？
You don't know that.
你试了吗？
Have you tried?
你去看他
You go on seeing him.
那就让他以为你是支持他这么做的
That means you let him think he has your approval.
妈妈 他已经爱上别人了
Mom, he's in love!
你死了吗？
是的
接下来打算怎么过？
没有接下来了
你需要一点高糖的东西
What you need is a sugar high.
生活逐渐回归正常了？
There, life flooding back?
我应该给我妈妈也吃点这个
I should feed one of these to my mom.
她状态还是不太好吗？
She still in a bad way?
你爸爸做的事确实不好
It's bad what your dad did.
额 我爸他其实也不开心
Oh, he... he wasn't happy.
我知道
I knew that.
他们肯定曾经爱过吧？
They must have loved each other once?
是啊 很久以前
Yeah, way back.
我小的时候 我们经常玩的就是
We used... we used to do this thing when I was little where
站成一条线 我站在中间
we'd stand in a line, and I'd be in the middle
然后妈妈在一边拉着我的胳膊 爸爸在另一边拉着我
and then my mom would hold one my dad would hold the other...
我就可以在他们中间玩荡秋千
and they'd swing me between them.
几乎每一对父母都这样做过吧
All moms and dads do it.
让小孩子在他们中间来回荡啊荡
Their kids, they just swing... swing me along between them.
对不起
Sorry.
杰米
Jamie.
你知道我的
You know me.
就算我哭了 也是为自己而哭
If I cry, I'm crying for myself.
我只是没那么关心其他人罢了
I just didn't care enough about anyone else.
才不是那样
That's not true.
你给我了一个甜甜圈
Krispy Kreme ：美国大型甜甜圈连锁品牌
You got me at Krispy Kreme.
那又怎样？
So what's up?
是因为我吗？
Is this about me?
又不是我在哭
I'm not the one who's crying.
被抛弃的也不是我
I'm not the one who's been left.
不是吗？
Aren't you?
好吧 好吧
OK, OK.
你每周末还是去看你妈妈吗？
Still seeing your mom every weekend?
嗯 直到她能自己能面对这一切了吧
Until she can cope on her own.
你什么时候不再去？
When do you stop going?
其实我去的也不是很频繁
Not so often anyway.
那她之后会感觉怎么样呢？
How is she going to feel then?
不太好吧
Not great.
那你之后会感觉怎么样呢？
How are you going to feel then?
我吗？
Me?
杰西觉得你还没有放手
Jess thinks you're still holding on.
我有吗？
Am I?
这是些需要我签字的文件
It's some papers I'm supposed to sign.
但我不懂这些都是什么
I don't know what.
杰米 我不会这么做的
Jamie, I'm not going to do it.
不...他可以亲自问我
No... he can ask me himself.
让他过来 我们一起把字签了
He can come here, and we'll sign together.
是的 我在记
Yes, I'm coping.
那就星期日
Sunday then.
30年前 我站在查令十字车站的
30 years ago, I was standing on a platform
站台上等着上火车去坦布里奇
in Charing Cross Station waiting to get on a train to Tunbridge.
然后我看到一个男人走下站台
And I saw a man walking down the platform who I thought
我以为那是我父亲
was my father.
我就一把抓住他的胳膊然后叫了一声 爸
And I raised my arm and called, father.
在我还没碰到他时
And with my arm still in the air,
就突然想起来我的父亲在四个月前已经去世了
I remembered that my father had died four months earlier.
那个陌生人走了
The man, a complete stranger, walked on by.
火车来了
The train came in.
我上了车 随着火车离开了查令十字街
I got into a carriage, and the train left Charing Cross.
车厢里的另一个人是一位女士
The other person in the carriage was a young woman.
她看着我 似乎为我感到惋惜
She was looking at me as if she was sorry for me.
我意识到我的泪水弄湿了我的脸颊
I realized I had tears on my cheeks.
怎么了 她问道
What is it she said.
哦 没什么 我回答道
Oh, nothing I said.
我把一个男人误认为我死去的父亲
I mistook a man for my father who's dead.
然后她说 你一定非常想再见到他吧
And she said you must want to see him again very much.
我的父亲是一个非常沉默寡言的男人
My father was a reserved man.
我印象中他从来没有拥抱过我
I don't remember him ever embracing me.
不知道为什么 当那个女人对我说这句话时
Somehow when this young woman said these words to me,
我意识到我这辈子最想得到的就是我父亲的一个拥抱
I knew that all my life I'd wanted his embrace
但是那一天永远不会到来了
and that now it would never come.
我开始哭泣 应该说是不停的哭
I began to weep, continued weeping I should say.
然后这个女人背诵了一些诗词 那首诗
And the young woman ecited some lines
我从来没听过 但那之后也永远不会忘记
from a poem I'd never heard and never forgotten since.
在那等着我
Stay for me there.
我定会在虚无缥缈的命运之纱中与汝再见
I will not fail to meet thee in that hollow veil.
倘我有所迟 请毋多所思
And think not much of my delay.
我已然上路
I am already on the way.
这是亨利·金在他妻子死后写的
It's by Henri King on the death of his wife.
火车上的那个女人怎么会知道我的感受？
How did that young woman in the train know what I was feeling?
那个女人就是你的母亲
It was your mother.
是啊 就是格蕾丝
Of course, it was Grace.
然而我却不应该上她这趟列车
And I was on the wrong train.
那是一辆快车
It was the fast train.
快到从未在我这站停下过
It never stopped at my station.
当我意识到这一点时 我们已经走过一半的旅途了
We were halfway to Dover before I realized it.
其实从一开始我和格蕾丝在一起就是个错误
The truth is I made a mistake about Grace right
她选错了人 那个人就是我
at the beginning, and she made a mistake about me.
我认为我们之前喜欢过彼此 但现在不了
We thought we were like each other, and we weren't.
我不知道
I didn't know it.
我努力变成她所喜欢的样子
I did my best to be who she wanted me to be,
但是却迷失了我自己
but I didn't know who I was myself.
而改变这一切的 就是安吉拉的手搭在我的胳膊上 她的抚摸
All it took was Angela's hand on my arm, her touch.
她对我的触碰
It was me she touched.
没有要求
No demands,
没有期许
no expectations,
只有爱
just love.
这么多年以来
All those years ago,
我都上错了车
I got on the wrong train.
我一直很喜欢你的公寓
I've always liked your flat.
那里还适合你吗？
Does it still suit you?
能胜任它的使命吗？
It does the job?
为什么人们一定要有座大房子？
Why do people have to have such big houses?
一个人需要的地方其实不用那么大
One needs so little really.
我妈说 你想让她签一些东西
Mom says you want her to sign something.
对
Yes.
最好把事情整理清楚
It is better to have things sorted out.
她想和你一起整理
She wants to do it with you.
她说如果你俩一起的话 她会签字的
She says you'll sign the papers if you do it together.
她想借此来大闹一场 我不会去的 杰米
She wants to make a scene, but I won't be drawn in, Jamie.
这没有意义
There's no point.
她说她会老老实实的
She says she'll behave herself.
如果她真的想一起签字
If she wants us to sign together,
我觉得在律师事务所签更好
it had better be the solicitor's office.
但这是我最后一次见她了
But it's the last time.
你去告诉她吧
Tell her if you can.
这是最后一次了
The last time.
过来 小宝贝
Come on, puppy.
他们不会老朽 不像幸存下的我们
They shall grow not old as we that are left old.
他们不为耄耋所困 不为残年所累
I shall not wear them nor the years come down.
每当太阳落下 每当晨曦降临
After going down on the sun and in the morning,
我们会永远铭记他们
we will remember them.
我们会永远铭记他们
We will remember them.
哦 你来啦 杰米
Oh, hello, Jamie.
你已经进来啦
You've come.
你好呀
Hello.
你叫什么名字呀？
Who are you?
他是不是很可爱
Isn't he adorable.
他好热情啊
He's so affectionate.
他对于我来说比那些镇定剂管用多了
Oh, he does me more good than all my tranquilizers.
他叫什么？
What's his name?
艾迪
Eddie.
艾迪
Eddie.
过来 艾迪
Come here, Eddie.
过来宝贝
Come here, boy.
妈妈 你不能叫他艾迪
Mother, you can't call him Eddie.
为什么？
Why not?
你爸爸叫爱德华
His name is Edward.
这..这也太明显了
Just... well, it's such a give away.
什么明显了
What does it give away?
你看 我在训练他
Look, I'm training him.
看呀
Look.
别动 爱德华
Stay, Edward.
坐好
Stay.
妈妈 这太尴尬了
Mom, it's so embarrassing.
哦 我的小宝贝
Oh, good boy.
为什么？
Why?
我不尴尬啊
I'm not embarrassed.
你为什么要尴尬？
Why should you be embarrassed?
你又开始写你的选集了吗？
Have you gone back to your anthology?
哦 还没有
Oh, no.
我已经不写了
I'm not doing that anymore.
真遗憾
That's a pity.
我听着感觉还不错呢
Thought it sounded good.
不 你才没有呢
No, you didn't.
你是觉得那样我就有事做了
You thought it gave me something to do.
我们都需要找点事情做
Well, we all need something to do.
这并没有什么不好的
There's no disgrace in that.
那你现在怎么样了？
So how are you?
你热爱的生活怎么样了？
How's your love life?
保密
Private.
哦 看来你还是自己一个人
Uh, so you're still on your own.
午饭很简单
Lunch is going to be very basic.
很好奇为什么
Wonder why.
你为什么不找一个人和你一起生活呢
Why you haven't found anyone.
你看起来很正常啊
You look perfectly normal.
这跟我没关系
This isn't about me.
不 有关系的
Yes, it is.
如果你不懂如何让别人爱上你
If you're no good at making people
那这就是我的错 对吗？
love you, that's my fault, isn't it?
或者是爱德华的错 因为他总是悄悄地流泪
Or Edward's fault for being such a sneaking sniveling
为男人找借口
excuse for a man.
我希望你不要那样做
I wish you wouldn't do that.
我希望他没有那样做
I wish he wouldn't do that.
或许我应该把这个寄给爸爸
Maybe I should take some of this post to Dad.
它看起来很重要
It looks quite important.
如果他想要 他可以自己来拿
If he wants them, he can come and get them.
今天是阵亡将士纪念日
It was Remembrance Day service today.
非常感人 你知道的
It was very moving, you know.
我发现我自己一直在想两次世界大战
I found myself thinking about the two wars and the wives
和从军官办公室里发出的电报
and the mothers waiting at home and the telegrams
告诉留守的妻子或母亲们
from the war office telling them that their husbands
他们的丈夫或者儿子已经死了
and sons were dead.
我能想象那是多么的可怕
I thought how terrible that must have been.
然而 无论如何 我都觉得那种痛苦比不上
And yet it was somehow easier to bear than losing Edward the way
我失去爱德华的痛苦
I've lost him.
我眼前仿佛就突然看到了他离开的样子
And then all at once I saw it.
这是我们的战争
This is our war.
这就是当代寡妇和孤儿产生的原因
This is what makes widows and orphans nowadays.
只不过没有坟墓和纪念日
Only there aren't any graves or Remembrance Day services.
也不能哀悼罢了
We're not allowed to mourn.
你也看到了 我还是没办法走出来
So you see I'm not really coping after all.
走吧 艾迪
Come on, Eddie.
走吧
Come on.
我们走 艾迪
Let's go, Eddie.
快走
Come on.
这就是了
There it is.
小宝贝
Good boy.
宝贝
Boy.
我们走啦
Let's go.
乖
Come on.
艾克斯顿太太 惠塔克姆先生在等你
Mrs. Axton, Mr. Whitacomb's expecting you.
我的爸爸到了吗？
Has my father arrived?
还没有
Not yet.
我会带您过去的
I'll take you through.
我们办公室不允许小狗进来的
We don't allow dogs in the office.
我很抱歉
I'm so sorry.
有多抱歉？
How sorry?
什么？
I'm sorry?
天啊
My goodness.
你很抱歉
You are sorry.
没事
Never mind.
没什么
It'll pass.
请您跟我来
If you'd like to follow me.
感谢您的到来
Thank you for coming in.
哦 我是彼得·惠塔库姆
Oh, I'm... I'm Peter Whitacomb.
在这件事上我代表您的丈夫
I'm acting for your husband in this matter.
阿克斯顿先生希望这一切都能得到妥善处理。
Mr. Axton wishes everything to be done properly.
请坐
Do take a seat.
你也许能合法地处理一切
You may be able to do everything legally,
但我不知道你能怎么妥善处理
but I don't see how you can do it properly.
妈妈 你答应过我的
Mom, you promised.
好的
All right.
我会管好自己的
I'll behave myself.
我很抱歉
I'm so sorry.
我来晚了吗？
Am I late?
哦 这是谁？
Oh, who's this?
过来 爱德华
Come, Edward.
什么？
What?
没叫你
Not you.
过来
Come.
来这
Come here.
过来宝贝
Come here, boy.
乖宝贝
Good boy.
听话的宝贝
Good boy.
坐下
Sit.
小可爱
Good boy.
坐下
Sit.
宝贝
Good boy.
你好 我也在这呢
Hello, I'm here, too.
你好 你好 你好
Hello, hello, hello.
你怎么样 格蕾丝？
How are you, Grace?
还好 还好 还好
Fine, fine, fine.
谢谢你能来 彼特
Thank you for this, Peter.
我们可以开始了吗
Shall we proceed.
完全可以
By all means.
这是关于财产协议的概述
This is the summary of the financial agreement.
这是能把房子过户到你名下的唯一契约
This is the deed signing over the house into your sole name,
阿克斯顿太太
Mrs. Axton.
这是申请书
This is the application for the decree.
您要做的就是在黄色标签处签字
All you have to do is sign by the yellow tags.
如果我不签会怎么样
What happens if I don't?
那么这个协议就会搁置 我们会再重新拟订一份
Then this agreement is set aside, and we start again.
但是为您的利益考虑
But I have to see in your interest
这个合同对您来说很有利
that this is a very good settlement.
没有法庭会判给您哪怕一半的财产
No court would give half as much.
而您现在能得到这个家里所有有价值的东西
You get the entire value of the family home.
别说了
Stop it.
妈妈
Mom.
他凭什么可以坐在那里说我能得到这个家里一切有价值的东西
How can he sit there and say that I get the entire value
这个家在爱德华走的时候
of the family home when the entire value of the family home
就已经失去了价值
is precisely what's being taken from me.
我就知道这没有用的
I knew this wouldn't work.
不 有用啊
Yes, it will.
我现在就像在做生意
I'm being business like.
我也不说你偷偷摸摸背着我搞婚外情还假装若无其事了
No more references to sneaking two-faced marital treachery.
现在来说说你和爱德华一起写的这个协议
So this settlement you and Edward come up with,
如果他死了我能得到更多吗？
do I get more than I'd get if he died?
如果他死了？
If he died?
是的
Yes.
不能
Well, no.
按规定说的 如果您的丈夫死了
As things stand, if your husband died,
您能得到房子和共同的财产
you'd get the house, your joint savings,
还有全额的抚恤金
and a full widow's pension.
如果我俩离婚了 我得到的就会变少了对吗？
And if we get a divorce, I get less?
没错
Yes.
如果你死了 我能得到的更多对吧？
So it would be better for me if you were dead?
但是我还没死
But I'm not.
各方面都变得很好
It would be better in every way.
如果要我没有你生活下去
If I have to manage without you, I'd...
我宁愿变成一个寡妇
I'd rather be a widow.
寡妇至少比那些被遗弃的女人社会地位高一些
A widow has so much more status than a left woman.
我会在你的坟前多摆几多花的
I could put flowers on your grave
铭记我们那些幸福的时光
and remember all the good times we had
希望在天堂我还能看见你
and look forward to seeing you again in heaven.
希望我们在墓地下也能团聚
Reunited as they put on the gravestones.
只不过按现在来说 你不会有坟墓
Only as things stand, there's no grave.
你破坏了我所有美好的记忆 而当我们都死去时
You've poisoned all my memories, and when we meet again
这些美好的记忆会把天堂的大门堵死
in the next world, they'll be bloody Angela
把你的安吉拉堵在天堂的门外
clogging the place out.
安吉拉说得对
Angela was right.
我真不应该同意你这个要求
I shouldn't have agreed to this.
坐下
Sit.
去他妈的安吉拉
Fuck Angela.
对不起 惠塔库姆先生
Sorry, Mr. Whitacomb.
都是因为他 我才会这样
He makes me do these things.
是他的不辞而别
It's the way he walks away.
让我如此愤怒
It drives me mad.
现在做这些还有意义吗？
Is there any point going on with this?
意义？
Is there any point?
当然有意义
Yes, there's a point.
看看杰米
Look at Jamie.
他是我们的儿子
He's our son.
他是你我的一部分
He's part you and part me.
我们创造了他
We made him.
我们走到了一起 然后才有了他
We joined together, and we made him.
我们都知道教堂说过
Now you know as well as I do that the church
婚姻就是一条纽带
says marriage is a bond.
它无法被解开 这就是为什么婚姻能创造人类
It cannot be dissolved, and that's why it makes people.
你可以随便请律师在文件上写来写去
You can get lawyers to put whatever you want on paper,
但是你永远都是我的丈夫 永远都是杰米的父亲
but you're still my husband and Jamie's father.
直到你死去
And you will be until the day you die.
我知道你怎么想的
I know your view.
这不是我的想法
This isn't a view.
这是事实
This is how it is.
你眼中的事实
For you.
不 不单单是在我眼中 对每个人都是
No, not just for me, for everybody.
不能随意捏造主观事实
You can't invent a private reality.
你也不能
Nor can you.
我的不是主观事实
Mine isn't a private reality.
那我的也不是
Well, then nor is mine.
不 你的就是
Yes, it is.
我说的对吗 杰米？
Isn't it, Jamie?
不要让我站队
Don't ask me to take sides.
不要让你站队
Don't ask you to take sides
不要让你在现实和疯狂之间站队吗？
between reality and madness?
生活就是这样 决定你什么时候结婚 什么时候不结婚
That's what it is, deciding when you're married when you're not
什么时候对你来说是合适的
whenever it happens to suit you.
这就是疯狂的琐事而已
It's madness and chaos.
如果你不打算签字
If you're not going to sign the papers,
那我就要走了
I might as well leave.
我对今天发生的一切表示抱歉 彼特
I'm sorry about this, Peter.
每个人都在说对不起 但是你们没有一个人真的认为对不起我
Everybody keeps saying they're sorry, but none of you
没有一个人
are sorry, not one bit.
妈 你这么做不对
Mom, you're making a mistake.
哪不对了 亲爱的？
Am I, darling?
告诉我我该做什么？
Tell me what I should do?
我觉得你应该签了那些文件
I think you should sign the papers.
你还是没有明白呢 对吗？
You still don't see it do you?
没有一个人明白
No one sees it.
或许 我就真的生活在所谓的我的主观事实中
Maybe I... maybe I do live in my own private reality.
但是我并不介意
I don't care about any of this.
我不在乎钱
I don't care about money.
这很简单
It's really very simple.
我...我爱你 爱德华 无论我是否愿意承认
I... I love you, Edward, whether I want to or not.
我从来没有想过你会有一天不爱我了
And I never thought in a million years you'd stop loving me.
我只是 觉得现在
I just... now I feel...
我也不知道该怎么说 可能是伤心
I don't know... hurt.
你懂吗？
You understand?
我知道你懂
I know you do.
我懂
Yes.
我懂
Yes.
我讨厌这样
I hate this.
我不愿意伤害你
I hate hurting you.
我可以付出一切 但是我无能为力
I'd give anything not to have, but I can't help it.
对不起
I'm sorry.
现在事情发生了
It's happened now.
事情就是这样发生了 对不起
It's just... it's just happened, and I'm sorry.
额...
It's...
格蕾丝没错
Grace is right.
没什么文件好签的
There's nothing to sign.
真对不起
I'm so sorry.
轮到你说对不起了
Your turn to say you're sorry, too.
我为我们没能
Actually, I regret that we've
最终达成一个
not been able to reach a mutually
双方都满意的协议深表遗憾
satisfactory agreement.
这是我来这的本意
That's what I'm here for.
双方都满意的协议？
A mutually satisfactory agreement?
是的 其实是有可能的
Yes, where possible.
你是谁啊 你以为你是纳尔逊·曼德拉吗？
纳尔逊·曼德拉：结束南非种族隔离运动的领导人
Who are you, Nelson Mandela?
妈妈 该走了
Mom, time to go.
嗯 我该走了
Yes, it's time to go.
现在才算结束了
That's what time it is.
走喽
Time to go.
走 艾迪
Come on, Eddie.
走吧
Let's go.
一旦当他们被丢在路上 他们就只有被冻死了
Once left behind on the road, they froze to death.
这些会被当成一场意外
This was understood to be an accident.
没有人会回头
Nobody looked back.
通过抛弃弱者 强者才得以生存
By abandoning the weak, the strong survived.
这看起来很残忍 但是每个人
It may seem brutal, but what's the point
最终都将死亡 所以又有什么意义呢？
of everyone ending up dead?
妈妈
Mom.
妈妈
Mom.
嘿
Hey.
妈妈
Mom.
你还好吗？
You all right?
我们能不能...拜托
Can we... please.
我们一起再去希望沟壑走走吧
Let's do the old walk down to Hope Gap.
我以前很爱来这里
I used to love coming here.
这里就像我的秘密世界一样
It's like my secret world.
你为什么那样看着我？
Why you look at me like that?
我在想怎么能帮助你
Trying to think how I can help you.
哦 我没事的
Oh, I'll be all right.
你会好起来的
You'll be fine.
就像我们之前说的那样
That's what we say.
我们别再说那些了
Let's not say that anymore.
有什么意义？
What's the point?
我们不要再互相假装了
Let's not pretend.
其实我们过的都不好 对吗？
Neither of us are all right, are we?
是不好
Not really.
那是什么？
What is it?
有一两件事一直让我很不舒服
There are one or two things going wrong for me
有点小问题
in a minor sort of way.
是关于工作的吗 还是别的什么事情？
Is it work or the other thing?
是工作之外的事情
It's the other thing.
哦
Oh.
那是什么呢？
What is it?
为什么呢？
Why?
就像你之前说过的
It's what you said.
我好像不太懂得如何让别人喜欢我
Seems I'm not very good at making people love me.
怎么会有人不喜欢你呢？
How could anyone not love you?
我觉得我有点不受人待见
I think I'm a bit un-forthcoming.
像爱德华一样
Like Edward.
可能吧
Probably.
你必须克服它 亲爱的
You must get over it, darling.
你必须加以改变
You must forth come.
改变并不是随随便便的事
Well, it doesn't seem to be very easy.
但是只要你愿意就可以
But you do want to.
我只想要正常的生活 但是好像总不如愿
I want all the usual things, and it doesn't happen.
的确有个人 但是
There was someone, but it doesn't
好像并没有那么顺利
seem to have quite worked out.
我觉得是我自己出了一些问题
It seems I'm the problem.
像我一样吗？
Like me?
对不起
Sorry.
我不应该谈我自己的
I shouldn't be talking about myself.
不 这样倒是还有所改变
No, it makes a change.
介意我为你祈祷让事情得以解决吗？
Would you mind if I prayed for you for things to work out?
不
No.
如果我的祈祷管用了 你是不是会重新信仰上帝？
If it works, will you start believing again?
如果不管用 你会不再信仰上帝吗？
If it doesn't, will you stop?
不会
No.
就算我想 我也无法背弃上帝
I couldn't even if I wanted to, which I do.
如果我能背弃上帝 那我也就能走出来了
If I could only stop believing, then I could get out, which
我每天都希望能走出来
I longed to do night and day.
不要走出来
Please don't get out.
诶 我真的好想睡上一觉 杰米
Well, I really just want to fall asleep, Jamie.
永远不会醒来的那种
No more waking.
醒来真的是一件十分痛苦的事情
It's the waking that hurts so much.
当你醒来的那一刻 就会对你所做的梦感到困惑
That moment coming out of a confusion of dreams
然后就会想也许这不是真的
and you think maybe it's not true.
也许他还躺在那里
Maybe he's lying there after all.
然而当你把头转向枕头的另一侧时 却空无一人
You turn your head on the pillow, there's no one there.
我知道我应该让你来和我一起生活
I know I should say come and live with me...
不用 没关系的
No, it's all right.
我也不想
I don't want to.
我觉得我就是有点害怕
I think I'm just a bit frightened.
因为我的不开心吗？
Of my unhappiness?
对啊
Yeah.
其实我也害怕
It frightens me, too.
我曾经想去做那件事的
I wanted to do it, you know.
你不会吧？
You won't?
我不能给你保证
Can't make any promises.
在那个律师办公室 是我最后的机会
In that horror the solicitor's office, that was my last shot.
如果你要做 你会先告诉我吗？
If you did, would you tell me first?
我不知道
I don't know.
难道你想我那么做吗？
Do you want me to?
给你善后的人肯定是我
Well, I'm the one who'd have to clear after you.
啊 对 我想也是
Oh, yes, I suppose so.
我没想到过那些
Hadn't thought of that.
我想聊点别的
Now I want to say something different.
我想让你知道我其实明白
I want you to know that I do understand.
毕竟 假想它就像一个癌症 让你承受的巨大的痛苦
After all, suppose it was cancer and you were in unbearable pain
然后慢慢的死去
and dying only too slowly, what...
我会说 不如现在就结束吧？
then I'd say end it now wouldn't I?
那是因为我爱你
Out of my love for you.
所以如果你觉得生活伤你太深 你无法忍受而选择结束的话
So if your life hurts you so much that you want to end it,
我不会阻止你的
I won't stop you.
因为我爱你 你只需要告诉我
Out of my love you, only just tell me.
不要让它来的那么突然
Don't let it be a surprise.
给我时间与你告别
Give me time to say goodbye.
你肯定经历过很痛苦的时期才会这么对我说
You must've known some sad dark times to say that to me.
我不能要求你为我而活
I can't ask you to live for me.
但是我们每个人都有自己的困难负担
But we each have to carry our own burden.
你喜欢探险
You're like to explorer.
一步步走向路的尽头
You're further down the road.
你已经走过它了
You've gone on ahead.
所以如果过了一段时间 你不再向前走了
So if after a while you don't go on anymore,
那我就知道可能这条路对你来说太艰难太漫长了
then I'll know that the road is too hard and for too long.
我就会知道 在最后 还是不开心占了上风
I'll know that in the end, the unhappiness wins.
但是如果你坚持走了下去 如此艰难地走了下去
But if you do go on and bear it, terrible as it is, then
那我就会明白 无论生活多么艰难
I'll know that however bad it gets,
我都能撑过去 因为你已经为我树立了榜样
I can last it out because you did before me.
我亲爱的儿子
My darling boy,
你长大了
how you've grown up.
真是太棒了
This is very grand.
我在祈祷
I'm paying.
根本搞不懂这上面写的都是什么
I'm not even sure I know what any of this means.
腌鳕酱是什么？
What's brandade?
泡菜又是什么？
What's kimchi?
点羊肉吧
Have the lamb.
你不觉得我应该多了解一点吗？
You don't think I should be a bit more adventurous?
两份威尔士羊肉 谢谢
Two of the Welsh lamb please.
好的
All right, yep.
谢谢
Thank you.
谢谢
Thanks.
她怎么样了？
How is she?
她开始主动参加一个叫 友谊热线 的活动
She started volunteering for something called Friendline.
是个为那些快活不下去的人举行的活动
It's for people who reached the end of the line.
活不下去的人 天哪
The end of the line, dear God.
她还挺好的
She's doing all right.
你不用担心
You didn't have to worry.
或者感到愧疚
Or feel guilty.
我不认为我们之中有谁可以像我们假装的那样
I didn't think any of us have as much control over our lives
掌控自己的生活
as we pretend.
安吉拉说我和格蕾丝不合适
Angela says Grace and I weren't suited,
我早就该走了
and I should have left years ago.
那为什么一直没有离开呢？
Why didn't you?
因为那并不想能做出的选择
It never really seemed an option.
你觉得我该这么做吗？
Do you think I should?
我觉得与其现在才离开
I think if you were going to leave now,
不如早点就走 如果你能明白我的意思的话
you should have left earlier if you see what I mean.
我不明白
I didn't know.
如果非让我责怪你 那就是这点了
If I had to blame you for anything, it would be that.
责怪我没有早点走吗？
For not leaving earlier?
责怪你走的时候还对她很好 给她沏了一杯茶
For going on being nice and making cups of tea and letting
让她觉得你很开心
Made her think that you were happy.
责备你没有在她逼你的时候对她生气
For not getting angry when she went for you.
怪你没有在那时候告诉她你真正的想法
For not telling you what you really wanted.
怪你没有让她知道她那样对你你是什么感受
For not letting them know what it felt like to be you.
哦 杰米 你不知道那样做有多难
Oh, Jamie, you don't know how hard that is.
我不知道吗？
Don't I?
但是我觉得即便这样 她也能知道我的感受了
But I think she knew even so.
我不这么觉得
I don't.
直到你离开的那天起
Right up until the day you left, she
她还一直以为你们深爱着彼此
thought you adored each other.
这太复杂了 你知道的
It's complicated, you know.
你可以既爱着某个人 又想着什么时候可以离开她
You can love somebody and want to leave them at the same time.
当你说她爱我的时候 不 那不是我
When you say she adored me, no, that wasn't me.
那是她所臆想出来的人 她想象出的爱德华
That was someone she invented, the Edward she wanted.
她从来没有真正的原谅过我不是她想要的爱德华
And she never really forgave me for not being him.
这让我感觉我一直都是错的
It made me feel like I was always in the wrong...
一直犯错 可又无辜
in the wrong but innocent.
现在我觉得我做的都是正确的
Now I feel what I've done is right,
但是我又因为自己快乐 让她伤心而愧疚
but I feel guilty because I'm happy and she isn't.
这是我犯下的罪
That's my crime.
那是什么？
What's that?
煎羊排
That is the lamb's fry.
干嘛煎羊肉？
Lamb's fry what?
好的 继续
Yes, go on.
我在听
I'm still listening.
友谊热线 我们倾听
没问题
That's OK.
我们来这就是为了这个 是的
That's what we're here for, yes.
他不仅仅在我生日那天走了出来
So not only did he walk out on my birthday,
拿着我买的那瓶香槟酒
taking the bottle of champagne I brought
来为我庆祝生日
to celebrate my birthday, he also
还把我留给了杰弗里 也就是第一个
left me for Jeffrey, who was the first boyfriend
抛弃我的男朋友
to walk out on me.
男人啊
Typical men.
我是说 他怎么想的？
I mean, what was he thinking?
男人不会思考也没有感知
Men don't think or feel.
他们一点感觉都没有
They have no feelings at all.
我在听呢
I'm still listening.
友谊热线
Friendline.
是的
Yes.
不 我真的想听
No, I really do want to hear it.
哦 悬崖
Oh, the cliffs.
我曾经也着迷于那里
I've been into all that myself.
它们看起来是垂直的 但实际上不是
They look vertical, but they're not.
他们会有一些突起 当你摔下去的时候你会撞到的
They have bumps sticking out, and you hit them as you fall.
嗯 没错 这不公平 对吗？
Well, exactly, it isn't fair, is it?
你知道更不公平的是什么吗？
Do you know what's even more unfair,
如果你也相信我所相信的东西的话
at least if you believe what I believe?
你的生活让你无法忍受 你决定要结束这一切
Your life is so unbearable you decide
而你所能知道的下一件事就是你要下地狱了
to end it, the next thing you know you've gone to hell.
真的
Honestly.
我在友谊热线的一个朋友是同性恋
My friend on the phone lines is gay.
他也被抛弃了 就像我之前那样
Turns out he's been left just like me.
我们谈论了那是怎样的感觉 以及
So we talk about what it's like and how
男人们是多么自私的动物 还有如何处理这些男人
men are all selfish pigs and how is one to cope.
哦对了 我还跟他说了你的所有事情
Oh, and I told him all about you.
他说你可能是也是个同性恋
He said you're probably gay.
他真这么说的
He did.
你不是 对吗？
You're not, are you?
不 至少看起来不是
No, not as it happens.
也许你是拒绝承认你的性取向
You could be refusing to admit your true nature.
你想让我是同性恋吗？
Do you want me to be gay.
我是说说玩的
Oh, I just want you to be happy.
好乖的的宝贝
There's a good boy.
让他看看你的新招数吧
Let's show him your new trick.
去死 爱德华 死掉
Die, Edward, die.
看啊 他很聪明把
There, isn't he clever?
如果我真的能让爱德华言听计从的话
Wouldn't it be something if I could
就不会发生这么多事情了
get the real Edward to do that?
什么 让他去死吗？
What, make him die?
在地上打个滚
Well, roll about on the ground a bit.
这才是我的乖宝宝
Oh, there's my beautiful boy.
这个狗是你的丈夫还是你的孩子啊
Is this dog your husband or your son?
怎么了？
Why?
你吃醋了吗？
Are you jealous?
不 你说话的方式
No, this is an improvement on the way
比前几周好多了
you were talking a few weeks ago.
那我前几周是怎么说话的呢？
And how is I talking a few weeks ago?
几乎说什么都是滚出去那种感觉
All that stuff about getting out.
诶 是啊
Oh, yes.
是啊 我已经进步了许多了
Yes, well, I've moved on from that.
那些不快乐的事有个特点 过一段时间
The thing about unhappiness is after a while,
它也就没什么意思了
it stops being interesting.
我跟你说过我又重新开始写选集了吗？
Did I tell you I've gone back to my anthology?
看 我已经把这些诗集按标签排好了
See I've been collecting the poems under headings...
感受孤独 爱人的死 都是这种诗集
feeling lonely, death of a loved one, that sort of thing.
当然了 都是一些很棒的诗
Only really good poems, of course.
不是贺卡上的那种废话
No greeting cards nonsense.
婚姻破碎 那篇肯定很重要
Marriage breakdown, that's a big one.
还有 感受自己的失败
And feeling you're a failure.
这篇也很好
That's huge.
我能不能？
Can I?
你计划用这些做什么？
What do you plan to do with this?
这是一个系列的思想
It's a sort of constellation system.
当生活中遇到不如意时 你就可以在我的这个选集里找到
Something bad happens to you, you look it up in my anthology.
嗯 我想...
Right, I...
我知道
I get that.
我的意思是 你怎么让人们去了解这个东西呢
I mean, how are you going to get people to know about it?
嗯 我希望可以出一本书
Well, it's going to be a book I hope.
可以做成一个网站的 妈妈
This should be a website, Mom.
把它放到网上我觉得会更合适
It's perfect for the internet.
你可以建立一个搜索栏
You could have a search bar, and you
然后输入 感觉孤独
could type in feeling lonely.
就会出现一个链接 里面有有关孤独的诗集
And then it would give you links to poems about loneliness.
这要怎么做到呢？
How would it do that?
嗯 这很简单
Well, that's easy.
我每天都做这种事
That's what I do every day.
难的是用它们建立一个数据库
The hard part is this, is building the database.
不 不是数据库
No, it's not a database.
这是一个选集
It's an anthology.
你能再添加一些吗？
Can you expand it?
你想要更多的诗吗？
You want more?
非常非常多
Much more.
我知道许多的诗 如果你要用的话 成百上千篇都有
I know more poems if that's what you mean, hundreds more.
那你准备给它起个什么名字呢？
What are you going to call it?
我想叫它 我曾来过这里
I'm thinking of calling it "I Have Been Here Before."
这是个很好的点子 你想
That's rather the point, you see.
总有人经历过我们现在的经历
Others have been through these things before us.
我不知道为什么这能给人慰藉 但确实是这样
I don't know why that should be comforting, but it is.
因为他们活下来了吗
Because they survived?
有些人活着
Some did.
有些人死了
Some didn't.
这是罗塞蒂一首诗的第一行
It's the first line of a poem by Rossetti.
你知道吗？
Do you know it?
不知道
No.
你想让我给你说说吗？
Do you want me to say it for you?
好啊 讲吧
Yes, I'd like that.
我曾来过此处
I have been here before.
却讲不出何时而来
When or how, I cannot tell.
我知道门外长满了青草
I know the grass beyond the door,
散发着迷人的香味 和叹息的声音
the keen sweet smell, the sighing sound,
岸边一排排的灯闪烁着
the lights around the shore.
你曾属于我
You have been mine before.
我记不清过去了多久
How long ago, I may not know.
但当你仰望燕过的时候
But just when at that swallow saw,
你转动脖子 面纱落下
your neck turned so some veil did fall.
一切或若隔世
I knew it all of yore.
从前的时光是否如是 之后的时光
Has this been thus before, and shall not thus times eddying
倘如我们继续抗争 我们的爱也能
flight still with our lives, our loves restore
在死亡中永生
in death's despite and day and night
多一份日夜可否多一份欢愉？
yield one delight once more?
爱德华
Edward.
可真无聊啊
It's so dull.
你来这干嘛 格蕾丝？
What are you doing here, Grace?
这就是你想要的生活吗？
Is this really how you want to live?
这是安吉拉的房子
This is at Angela's house.
安吉拉
Yes, Angela.
她在哪儿呢？
Where is she?
我不想再吵架了
I don't want a row.
格蕾丝 我不会再忍着你了
Grace, I won't stand for it.
不
No.
我也不想吵架
I don't want a row either.
我来给你送这些东西的
I came to bring you these.
或许你再也不想要它们了
But maybe you don't want them anymore.
所以一直以来 你就是想过上这种生活吗？
So all along, you wanted to live like this.
那你为什么不告诉我呢？
Why didn't you tell me?
你一定感觉跟我生活这些年就像是另外一种生活
You must feel all those years with me were
像在外星生活一样吧
another life, another planet.
我们确实有过婚姻 对吗？ 在另一个星球上
We did have a marriage, didn't we, on that other planet?
你现在过上了不同的生活
And now you're living a different life.
你就是安吉拉吧
You must be Angela.
是的 没错
Yes, that's right.
她自己进来的
She just walked in.
嗯
Yes.
我一直觉得你根本就不存在
I don't think I really believed you existed.
请坐吧
Please sit.
不
No.
我不多呆了
Not staying.
你知道你做了什么吗？
What did you think you were doing?
格蕾丝
Grace...
我是说 谁给你的权利
I mean, what gave you the right.
够了
That's enough.
没事的 爱德华
It's all right, Edward.
让我自己来说吧
I can speak for myself.
我觉得
I think
以前有三个不开心的人
I thought there was three unhappy people.
而现在只剩一个了
And now there's only one.
是啊 我明白了
Yes, I see.
格蕾丝 格蕾丝 我们能不能
Grace, Grace, can't we...
能不能成为朋友
can't we be friends?
朋友... 哦 不行
Friends, uh, no.
我觉得不行
I don't think so.
事情已经过去很久了 不是吗？
It all went on too long, didn't it?
我希望
I wish...
你希望我们从来没遇见过？
You wish we'd never met?
不 当然不是
No, of course, not.
可我希望这样
I do.
我希望
I do.
我希望我从来没遇到过你
I wish we'd never met.
我希望我从来没有爱过你 但是我们在一起了 我也爱上了你
I'd wish I'd never loved you, but we did and I do...
我爱过你
I did.
而现在 我得努力学会放手了
And now I have to try and let you go.
不要把我想的那么不堪
Don't think too badly of me.
我尽力一点也不想你
I try not to think of you at all.
我白天都过得很好
I'm getting quite good at it during the day.
但是到了晚上 我会梦见你
But at night, I dream about you.
这不公平 不是吗？
Unfair, isn't it?
我曾来过此处 你不是第一个有这种感受的人
好了 就叫 我曾来过此处
All right, so it's called "I've Been Here Before."
你在搜索栏里输入
You type into the search bar.
任何东西 爱情 生活 死亡 任何你想输入的都可以
Anything... love, life, death, anything you like.
其实早就有人早就想到过了
It turns out someone else thought it long ago.
你不是唯一经历这些的人 所以也许你可以
You're not the only one, so maybe you
成功渡过这一切的
can make it through after all.
我就想听到这个
That's what I want to hear.
那我到底要怎么扛过去呢
How I can make it through after all.
你想看到希望 我们能给你希望
You want hope, we've got hope.
不要说努力终是空
"Say Not the Struggle Nought Availeth."
这是我妈妈最喜欢的
It's my mom's favorite.
不要说努力终是空
Say not the struggle nought availeth.
所有的辛劳和伤疤都是无用功
The labor and the wounds are vain.
敌人未衰竭也未打倒
The enemy faints not nor faileth.
事物如旧而毫无变动
And as things have been, they remain.
一时间 疲惫的海浪徒劳的破碎了
For while, the tired waves vainly breaking
仿佛毫不痛苦地流入了
seem here no painful inch gain far back
窄小的河口
through creeks and inlets making come
静静地灌入河床
silent flooding in the main.
只有在天亮的时候 太阳才会
And not by eastern windows only when daylight comes
从东方升起
comes in the light.
太阳一点一点地点亮东方
In front, the sun climbs slow, how slowly.
但是向西看 大地早已一片光亮
But westward look, the land is bright.
我一开始以为自己能够拯救你
I began by thinking I could save you,
可到了最后 我能做的只有敬爱你
but in the end, all I can do is honor you.
我的母亲 我生命中最重要的女人 是我的温暖和慰藉
My mother, first among women, my warmth and my comfort,
安全的港湾 我的骄傲 我唯一想要取悦的人
my safety, my pride, you're the one I want to please.
我只希望听到你的赞美
You're the one I want to applaud me.
我的父亲 生命中我最爱的男人 我的老师 我的指路人
My father, first among men, my teacher and my judge, the man
我知道我会成为他那样的人
I know I will become.
你越来越老了
You grow older now.
可还是在我前面 一如既往
You'll still ahead of me as you'll always be forever
永远走在路的前面
further down the road.
原谅我需要你才能变得坚强
Forgive me for needing you to be strong forever.
原谅我担心你会不开心
Forgive me for fearing your unhappiness.
你经历的 我也会经历
As you suffer, so I shall suffer.
你所忍受的 我也要忍受
As you endure, so I shall endure.
抓住我的手我们再回去走一走
Hold my hands and walk the old walk
最后一次 然后放我离开
one last time then let me go.